Sunday, November 19, 2006

TomKat's CRAZY for Flowers!

Well, never in a million years did I think I'd be blogging about the nuptials of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but here it is. I was prompted after I heard a blurb on one of those horrible tabloid tv shows that claimed that Cruise spent $500,000 on flowers alone for his wedding ceremony.

FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS! As in half a million. That's a lot of daisies, my friends!

Well, as a former florist I started foaming at the mouth at the thought. Lord, I can't imagine having to fill an order like that! But then I thought--this could be really great for the floral industry! Just imagine all those silly brides out there wanting exactly the same kind of wedding that Tom and Katie had minus the 15th century Italian castle of course and a few thousand scented candles (can you imagine?) The only problem is that everyone knows Tom's a crackpot now so those who would want to emulate his wedding are probably few and far between. Oh well.

This wedding of course has been highly suspect ever since Mr. Cruise began courting Ms. Holmes a while back. There have been rumors swirling around that Mr. Cruise was "in the market" to for a beard...or should I say "beautiful young starlet to be his wife" and hopefully squelch those pesky homosexuality rumors once and for all. It was further rumored that several other actresses turned down the "role" of Mrs. Cruise before Katie accepted.

Once Katie signed the contract...uh, or rather...agreed to be his wife, Cruise commenced to jumping on Oprah's couch and in general making a spectacle of himself. To prove he was serious about this young lady and to further affirm his virile heterosexuality, he made a baby with her right away: the much heralded "Suri". (To which my mother would say "What's her middle name? Withafringeontop?")

However, in doing some research on the wedding, I found a couple of quotes which indicate Mr. Cruise's proverbial "slip" may be showing where the wedding preparations are concerned. Tom may have trouble squelching the aforementioned pesky rumors after people read Stuff like this:

"Tom Cruise is famously controlling, and he's certainly been in charge of this wedding. Not only did he help choose Katie's wedding dress, but he's been on top of every detail from the menu to the gift bags."

Oh lord. And this:

"Tom has reportedly been very hands-on with the decorations, and is said to have ordered thousands of candles for the ceremony."

Well, you know how we queens love to decorate! And on Katie's gown:

"Katie went on a Paris shopping spree in October, where she reportedly settled on a Georgio Armani wedding dress, said to be a diaphanous and delicate white lace strapless dress. Supposedly, Tom Cruise himself helped design it!"

Well of COURSE he did! Wouldn't you???

Finally I thought I'd include a photo of the happy couple on the way to their ceremony. I wonder if Armani designed a special Pack n Play for baby Suri to amuse her during the nuptials.

"MEOW!"--I know.

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At 11:59 PM, Blogger judy said...

I know, it's just too deliciously whacky. Try as I might, I couldn't help but read as many details as possible. My favorites concern the Scientology vows where the groom is told that: "girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb and perhaps a cat." And the bride is told: "young men are free and may forget their promises."

If Katie is smart she'll get that comb and pan and cat before Tom forgets his promises. Good luck, Katie.

At 12:15 AM, Blogger Michael said...

O MY GOD! Well at least if Tom forgets his promise she'll have the cat to keep her company!

At 8:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sick, sick, sick.

First of all, no straight groom ever does that much for his bride's wedding. It's a high mark for him to show up at the church before the ceremony, hangover notwithstanding.

Then I look at the picture of the threesome. What's happening to Holmes? She's beginning to look like Maria Shriver. WTF is with those people in California?

And, one more thing. I couldn't enlarge the photo, but is that baby sporting a mustache?

At 11:45 AM, Blogger Joshua said...

I've seen him in many a New York gay bar back in the 80's. Plenty of people did. And we're not talking, look-alike, mistaken identity. He was accompanied with other celebs; a few of which are now completely out of the closet. But that doesn't make him gay - just metro! Yeah, Yeah - that's it! But we all know what's the deal. Has any journalist ever come right out and asked him?

At 3:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know Tom Cruise is crazy, but he's still hot.


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