Sunday, March 11, 2007

Mr. Crack

Allow me to introduce you to one of my friendly neighborhood characters: Mr. Crack. I haven't actually met Mr. Crack the person, just seen his van parked around my block. At first glance it's hard to tell if Mr. Crack is for or against drug use. After all Mr. Crack's white van could easily be mistaken for a kind of drug-dealing Good Humor truck. He proudly displays an American flag on the roof of the van complete with flashing lights. He also has what appears to be a PA system presumably to play enticing, tinkly Mr. Crack music alerting the children of the neighborhood to break open their piggy banks and scramble into the street. The boys pictured on the side of the van puffing their bongs blowing a big cloud spelling out Mr. Crack's name appear to be having a reasonably good time and depending on your point of view, the chains wrapped around them might indicate they're having a very good time.

On closer examination though, Mr. Crack is quite clearly against drug use. His van conveys a variety of anti-drug messages from the instructional "Kids tell your parents no drugs today" to the imploring "Save our babies." He draws a couple of worst-case-scenario conclusions such as "You smoke crack you will be homeless" and if you try drugs "you will be a slave." He throws in some good old fashioned American fear like "Drugs support terrorists" and for good measure "Support our troops." But above all, he appears to be selling a book and advises that every person read it.

You'll have to forgive me if it seems like I'm making fun. Mr. Crack's cause is noble, but his van cracks me up. (Click on the photo to enlarge for greater detail.)



At 1:30 PM, Blogger Dave said...

No crack today, Mom. Thanks.

At 2:20 PM, Blogger KipEsquire said...

Crack was proximately created by the drug war. If you're going to risk breaking the law (i.e, as a drug dealer), then your goal suddenly becomes not to deliver the highest quality product, but rather the most potent product (i.e., biggest bang for the might-go-to-jail buck).

If cocaine had never been illegal, then crack would never have been invented.

At 3:23 PM, Blogger Joshua said...

Oh, I'd so be graffitiying (I'm sure that's not a word) that car (only half-joking, LOL). Maybe I'll turn my car into the queermobile? See how much of a stink that creates. LOL

At 3:43 PM, Blogger Maddog said...

Only in New York as they say. It makes me miss my little city. Do you know if he travels around in this van? Or is it only in your part of the city?

At 6:11 PM, Blogger Donnie said...

Ding-dong....Mr. Crack calling! LOL

Yes, NYC sure does attract some "colorful" people.

At 6:38 PM, Blogger Y | O | Y said...

Maybe I'll see it next weekend. I'm firming up plans to get down to the city to see friends visiting from CA. Perhaps I can meet you and your bf Sunday a.m. for coffee? I might head over to TKTS to see about a Sunday afternoon matinee.

Drop me a line. manfromtheoc at


At 2:30 AM, Blogger kevin said...

Wow, it seems to all happen in New York city!

It is so funny how people come to ASSUMPTIONS. Perhaps he should look at the stats.

Kev in NZ


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